A Christmas Awakening
Awakening to spirit and finding a higher power
It was Christmas 2004, a time of happiness, family and sun-filled holidays by the beach here in Australia.
It was also my time of darkness, soul searching and heart ache. It was the hardest time of my life and on reflection and the wisdom of time I see now that it was the best time of my life.
Just 3 short months before Christmas I had finally taken a step that I had tiptoed around for many years. I had left my old life behind and stepped out into the uncertainty of a life alone.
Christmas that year brought with it my own awakening to a higher power and to a slowly dawning realization of my own power.
Spending a few days of the family Christmas mired in anguish and unhappiness but wrapped in the loving warmth of my family seemed like the natural and healing thing for me to do.
I felt the need to step into self-preservation mode regardless of whether I was alienating family members who might think me self-indulgent and selfish. I understand now that being the first in the family to go through a divorce, there were those who could not relate to what that meant to me and the pain I was up to my neck in.
Christmas day came and went with the usual overindulgence of food and wine and loud good natured arguments over the traditional game of trivial pursuit.
Getting ready for bed that Christmas night in 2004 I was overcome with grief for my lost marriage and love and the fear of what the future would hold for me and my family.
As my head hit the pillow and the tears flowed once again, I let out a pleading prayer to God. I begged for help and guidance and a way to stop the despair and pain.
Stumbling upstairs the next day I realized that my ear was aching and upon entering the kitchen where my family were gathered discussing our return to the city, I discovered my partial loss of hearing. Overnight I had developed an ear condition that allowed me to only hear muffled sounds. Little did I know the gift that had been given to me!
Boxing Day 2004 bought with it an undersea earthquake in the Indian Ocean which produced a tsunami that caused one of the biggest natural disasters in modern history with over 200,000 people known to have lost their lives.
Unable to hear what was being reported on the television, I could only try to guess at what my family was hearing by the looks of horror on their faces. The family stayed huddled around the television for hours and I took solace in my new books.
Just before Christmas I had wondered into a little book store in a one road town during the drive to our beach side holiday. As yet, I had not found the time to open my new books and they sat waiting for me in my overnight bag. I could not hear and I could no longer bear to watch the images of disaster that added so much sorrow to my already overloaded emotional system so I retreated to an empty room and started to find the answer to my prayers.
I found truth and some hope in a little book by Dr Wayne Dyer called ’10 secrets for success and inner peace’. I had bought it looking for success and had discovered how to find inner peace instead. I had also picked up a copy of ‘A deep breath of life’ by Alan Cohen.
Unable to travel by air with an ear infection, a few days later I found myself alone with my toddler son in a private carriage of an overnight train and while he slept, I read. I watched the beauty of the unfolding landscape, the lush green farming land, the dry dusty cattle tracks and the calm deep blue of a large flowing river.
As I watched and read I started to feel like I was awakening from a deep slumber and I began to know, really know of a higher power. Something was letting me know ‘all is well’.
I was starting to understand that I had been given the loss of hearing to protect me from more heart ache and allow me to be alone in unfamiliar territory. Something or someone was looking out for me.
Raised a Catholic I had long ago given up practicing my religion. Attending catholic schools where religion was forced down my throat had killed any idea of spirituality and I had long ago given up believing in any God who was vengeful and discriminating.
In the following months as the world came to grips with the enormous loss of lives and whole villages in the tsunami, I searched for and found teachers who would help me develop my own spirituality and I started walking forward again, stepping into my own power, the power of connection with a higher self and sense of oneness of all things.
Christmas 2004, a natural disaster of catastrophic proportions and a hearing loss started me on a journey that would change my life and which is allowing me to live a life of fun and happiness, a life that I am choosing to create every single day, moment by moment.
© 2009 Anne Aleckson
Anne Aleckson is an Author and Coach working with energy and the law of attraction. Go to www.stepuptojoy-lawofattractioncoach.com for your free e-course ‘5 Habits for Happiness’ to help you find your happiness, one step at a time.
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